Wedding Planning: The importance of planning ahead

Finally, I am ready to talk about wedding planning which has got me busy for the past months!

Warning: This post will be a very wordy post!

Do grab a cup of coffee, enlarge your screen and read on!

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Wedding planning can be stressful and enjoyable for some, or messy and confusing for others. But this is once in a lifetme and it is necessary to plan ahead to ensure smooth journey for the couple and to avoid unnecessary wastage of time and money!

My wedding planning has started way back in April (Actual Day is October 2016), where search of bridal studios and venues are the top most priority in my planning list! And at that time, we haven’t settle our wedding date yet so imagine my frenzy when I keep urging the fiance to book a feng shui master as early as possible to prevent delays.

First thing, I am the kind of person who prefer things to be done ahead of time as I seriously hate last minute planning because my mind will be in a whirl and I will be “transported” to the other unknown galaxy where I will be totally lost! The fiance couldn’t understand my need for booking the venue and studio like more than a year in advance but let me tell you, all future brides and grooms-to-be!

If you ever want to be sure whether you are too early or too late in wedding planning, be active in wedding forums and join Facebook groups that meant for potential brides/grooms-to be like you! From there, you will be sure whether you are on the right pace of planning.

Trust me, I have been there, and done that! Initially, I was just looking through the forums for ideas and join Facebook group which is meant for 2015 and 2016 brides in order to learn some tips and advice from “graduate” brides since I am a bride newbie myself, totally lost in the wedding world! So back in March, I was actually mentally planning to settle the studio and venue like probably this month (October) which is nicely a year in advance from my wedding since people tell me to plan a year in advance.

Imagine my horror when 2016 brides started posting that they have already book venues, studios and some reported that they couldn’t book certain venues because its booked and I became so perplexed to why some people can be so early in planning!

So of course, in Singapore culture, “kaisu” people leads less “kaisu” people to be more “kiasu”. So I started bugging finace to settle the wedding date asap so that I can start looking around for venues, much to his adorable annoyance.

The term “kiasu” is a Singlish word used commonly by Singaporeans, which can be translated for those outside culture as “avoiding competition due to the fear of losing out.

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So first thing you need to do when you start your wedding planning is to do research, check out reviews of the companies that you are looking at as well as their history backgrounds. Write down your ideal theme you want to have, the type of photography/videography you prefer and the style that both you and your other half agreed on so that you can actually shortlist a few companies rather than blindly look through all the wedding companies from A to Z!

So there are 3 important things for your wedding planning:

Choosing a Chinese Betrothal and Wedding dates

It is always important to decide on a wedding date before proceeding on to look for studios and venues so that you can confirmed the availability of the venue, photoshoots and videography.

Some couples, in my case, will go to a Feng Shui Master to calculate their BaZhi and refer to Tong Shu to determine which date will be the auspicious date for their wedding. I am not sure what the master refer to for our date selection, but I shall assume he used Tong Shu as well. The popular masters will have to book months in advance, so do take note. However, according to my understanding, Dates cannot be determined more than a year ahead as the Tong Shu calendar will not be out yet.  For Chinese, we have our own betrothal and tea ceremony, so timing given by the Feng Shui Masters is quite important to ensure that couples will not miss the auspicious hour.

For people who are unfamiliar with the terms:

BaZhi : Four pillars of Destiny analysis used in Chinese Astrology to analyze a person’s life, and understand his/her strengths and weaknesses. In weddings, it is normally used to check compatibility between two people.

Tong Shu: A calendar based on the Twenty-Eight Constellations of Chinese Astrology which shows the most auspicious dates for important events as well as to serve a warning against the least auspicious dates.

For those who are not superstitious or traditional, you will have greater flexibility in choosing the dates and timings for your wedding. Choose dates that are not on popular/auspicious dates as some restaurants and other venues tend to make use of the popular dates to jack up the prices. Timing-wise where you choose to the time to start your wedding on the actual day, best to start after 7am to avoid early surcharges by photographers/videographers and make-up artists. That is…if you are flexible with your timing.

Choosing a Wedding/Bridal Studio

Pre-wedding shoots are quite common among many couples. And you have to decide whether you want a local pre-wedding shoot or overseas pre-wedding shoot. Visit as many studios that you have shortlisted and list down the cost of the packages they offer and try to negotiated with them to give you discounts or throw in more freebies to make it attractive.

Do as much research as you can on the studios BEFORE attending wedding shows because those people are really very persuasive and pushy which can cause even the toughest person to break down and sign contract in defeat. It is so hard to resist the freebies throwing in when you say “No” once, and more discounts and freebies added in when you repeatedly shake your head until you succumb to temptation and reach for the pen to sign while they gleefully looked on…and you walk home in regrets after realizing the folly of your actions when you start reading all the bad reviews of that particular studio. Always check that they have solid history background or good reviews/testimonials, you wouldn’t want to risk ending up in a scam isn’t it?

Do as much research as you can on the studios BEFORE attending wedding shows. You will be bound to be pulled into hungry packs of wolves and end up as a beaten, defeated sheep if you make the wrong decision of signing the contract.

Tips: If you are the kind of person who cannot say “No”, email your shortlisted studios for appointment, and visit them. Bring up that you are interested to know what is their wedding show promotions and I believe that most of them will be willing to share with you so that you can gauge whether is it worth the value when you sign their packages.

Do beware that they will always give this parting line when you said you will think about it : “This promotion is only for today. Once you walk out and want to sign next time, no more promotion.”  

Yeah right. There is always negotiation phase, isn’t it?

I am not sure if some studios really stick to that (they couldn’t possibly remember your faces the next time you walk in?) but I will have to say that it is better for you to go back and think about it rather than signing on impulse. Your happiness and confidence in them is way more important than regrets.

Do remember to check what your wedding package include in so that you can customized according to your own needs and eliminate the unnecessary BEFORE signing your contract. Once signed, its black and white and they will have the rights not to cater to your wishes and so if you are unlucky to meet a stubborn and inflexible coordinator, that’s where your negotiation will end. Full Stop.

And again, do READ their terms and conditions! I always stress that every time I need to sign something because there might be some hidden fees that you are clueless about and the studios might neglected informing you as well.

Take note for couples who plan to do overseas photoshoots:

Do try to book the photographer/studio for the shoot like at least 6 to 8 months before your wedding! Reason is because you need to book the photograper, or maybe the studio is based overseas and they will need time to edit and ship you the albums and photos/frames which may take months to be shipped over. In addition, some countries have their 4 seasons so you have to plan ahead which season you prefer to take advantage of that. I don’t think some brides will want to take photo in a cold and freezing winter in their gowns or some brides who do not want to take photos in hot and sunny weather where their make up will melt and get all hot and sweaty.

Choosing your ideal wedding venue

My advice to all brides and grooms is that you should plan to book the venue at least 15 months in advance. YES…you see right…FIFTEEN!

No longer the past where people booked venues 12 months in advance. I got to know this because last year, a friend lamented to me how difficult to find a venue for his wedding which is only like 12 months in advance with all the popular venues been snapped up. And in my own experience, I signed my ideal venue which is 15 months in advance, I asked the venue manager whether there are any other couples vying for my slot and guess what he said?

He said: “Actually, there is another couple who is also vying your slot, and I am meeting them an hour later.”

I almost kicked my fiance in triumph! Earlier on, he actually thinking of postponing the meeting and I stubbornly refused because I was too kiasu. And the venue we chose was not even well-known and not much reviews on it too! Can you imagine that even less-reviewed venue can also be eyed on as well?

Talk about the war of brides…and grooms!

He sheepishly grinned and practically catered to my whims for the rest of the day. HAHAHA! (Shall blog more on the wedding venue that we have chosen in future post!)

And again, always negotiate! After all, its your own money and if you find unnecessary stuffs included in the package, ask if you can exchange the items for something else.

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That’s all for the main things to cover when you put your first step together into the wedding planning journey! I shall blog more about my own experiences once I have the time. Well. I do hope…soon!